


Attention to Detail

by fluffywambler



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Conversations, Ficlet, Gen, Menstruation, Miranda's fertility issues, referenced Shepard/Liara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26077576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffywambler/pseuds/fluffywambler
Summary: Cerberus was awfully thorough in reconstructing Shepard's body. She's not always sure she's grateful for that.
Kudos: 8





	Attention to Detail

Shepard's lower belly has started to cramp, a pain that's being heard over the dull lingering ache of the rest of her. She's ignored it for a while, but there's a suspicion growing in the back of her mind. A month ago she was comatose on an operating table, so there's really no frame of reference, but she knows this sensation. She excuses herself as soon as her meeting with Jacob, Miranda, Garrus, and Mordin is over, and ducks into the women's bathroom on the deck. Sure enough, there's blood.

"Dammit," she says, and goes up to her cabin for a change and... shit. She doesn't have any supplies. Didn't even think to pick those up on Omega.

Down to Miranda's office then. She feels like she's in middle school going to the nurse. Well, she reminds herself, asking Miranda if she has any pads or tampons shouldn't be that embarrassing. Miranda's undoubtedly seen all of Shepard's internal organs.

Downstairs, the door hisses open, revealing Miranda typing serenely. She looks up at Shepard. "Something you need?"

"You never told me that you restored _all_ of my bodily functions. Even the ones that... really aren't necessary for what you need me to do."

"Pardon?"

"I don't think I need to bleed five days a month to find out what's happening to the colonies."

Miranda smiles... though there's a slight hitch in her expression that puzzles Shepard. "I suppose it's a side effect of restoring your reproductive and endocrine systems. I didn't want the risk that hormonal abnormalities or incomplete organ systems would cause any unexpected problems. Also, the absence of reproductive hormones or an incomplete reproductive system might have had psychological consequences." The hitch is back, and it's in her voice too, but Miranda smooths out both and smiles again.

A wry thought crosses her mind: _then I guess I should thank you, instead, for giving me a functioning clitoris. Liara will be pleased about that. If I ever see her again._ She shuts down thoughts of Liara. "So being hormonal and crabby sometimes is part of the magic Shepard package you wanted?"

"It's a good sign that everything is working. You had no menstruation while you were sedated, though that's to be expected; it often shuts down during extreme stress. We were able to verify all your other physical functions before you woke up, but we weren't 100% certain that one would work." Miranda smiles again. No doubt she's feeling proud of her handiwork.

"Extreme stress" is a charmingly inadequate way to describe being asphyxiated, burned, and broken, then brought back from the dead and spending two years on an operating table. "Well, it works. But do you have any pads or tampons? I didn't think about needing them."

"Of course. I also have this." Miranda reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a little bottle, which she hands to Shepard. It's marked Feminol Maximum Strength Complete, with a list of symptoms taking up the whole label. "And a heating pad, if you'd like." Miranda actually looks sympathetic. The idea of cool, serene, perfect Miranda actually needing both Feminol Maximum Strength Complete and a heating pad is... a bit surprising.

"Thank you. You just saved my day." Shepard collects everything Miranda's offered her. "Maybe I'll curse you out for your admirable attention to detail later."


End file.
